Overcoming Imposter Syndrome

Feeling like you aren’t good enough, like your work doesn’t matter, like you screw up more than you succeed. Every creative knows what imposter syndrome is…intimately. But it isn’t like just knowing what it is makes it any easier to avoid or overcome. You can know what a sinkhole is, but that doesn’t mean you’re prepared when one opens up in front of your car. And that is what imposter syndrome can feel like, a void that just gets deeper and deeper until we’re in a rabbit hole of our own making that seems impossible to crawl out of.

I am no expert. I have no psychology degree or counseling certification, but I do know what works for me. I won’t lie, just because certain things work for me doesn’t mean they’ll work for you and so don’t take this as some end all be all…it is like the exact opposite of that actually! This is just for those who may be in that murky middle of their manuscript, the ones who have thrown yet another unfinished manuscript in the drawer, those who feel as though their dreams will never be more than just that. This is a post for the ones who are beginning to lose hope. I just hope I can help you see the light before you fall down too far.

How Do You Overcome It

Celebrate The Small Wins

I tell this to people all the time: treat you like your best friend would in this situation. My best friend is my biggest supporter (and also the one who refuses to let me become a hermit). When I downplay my wins, she cuts me off and immediately goes into what feels like a pre-rehearsed tirade of how awesome I am and all the things I have done. None of which seem very important to me at the time.

It’s human nature, I think, to focus only on those big public wins. You honestly have to make a practice of celebrating those “little” things. Not gonna lie, at first it feels entirely ridiculous. Like, why am I celebrating the fact that I have another story idea when I haven’t finished this one? Well, some people never get ideas. And even if you don’t use it, it is a good reminder that your creator brain still works!

We also often forget things that we’ve done that aren’t in the now or immediate past. I sometimes live as though things more than six months ago don’t matter at all. Well, guess what? That couldn’t be farther from the truth. Those stories and poems you got published are helping to get your name out there? That book you self-published is a great way to market yourself and make money for that caffeine addiction.

Give Yourself Grace

Yep, you may not wanna hear it, but you have to be kind to yourself. This may look different for everyone, but we all need it. Take breaks and eat your favorite snack. Maybe even spoil yourself with your favorite dish (mine is pan-seared duck). You don’t have to wait for some big reveal to celebrate you. You don’t wait to tear yourself down, do you? Nope. The minute an inconvenience happens in your creative process, you get frustrated. And, more than likely, it doesn’t always stop there. That frustration can lead to bitterness and anger and, as this post says, imposter syndrome.

If you find yourself asking, “am I good enough?,” you may want to ask who you’re trying to impress. Writing is for an audience, sure. But your first audience is you. That’s who you should be writing to please. (And this isn’t just for you writers out there, it is for every creative under the sun!) If you wonder if what you’re doing will even matter, remind yourself of that book you read as a kid that changed your life forever. Would you be the same if that author had stopped midway? Probably not. Who knows who out there in the great big world needs what you’re writing? You won’t know until it is out in the world.

I am not saying to pretend as though everything is perfect, we aren’t Stepford wives after all. But what I hope to convey is that you shouldn’t downplay your wins while making those small hiccups into full-blown tragedies. Yes, life as a creative can be sucky…especially when there is a deadline involved, but that doesn’t mean you should stop caring about how much your beta loved your manuscript.

How do you deal with imposter syndrome?