How Do I Write When I Feel Like I Have Nothing Left?

I feel like everyone has been there at one time in their life or another…you feel stuck. Life has turned you every way but loose and the dominoes keep falling on top of your head to the point where you just know you have a concussion and need rest. But then, you try to take a break and the guilt starts eating at you. Like you can’t relax because there is too much work to be done. You can catch up on emails or start that DIY project you’ve been meaning to start. There may be a cause and a rally that needs your support. And if you’re a creative, you may feel like you have to work on whatever that WIP project is because you don’t know when you’ll get another chance. No? Well, it it is just me, then I am going to talk to me. Feel free to keep reading and add your own two cents in the comments, though.

I think that the world has gone pretty much belly up, and that is no exaggeration. Life has a way of grinding you down and for us creatives, it feels as though it is designed to make us feel worthless and washed up. But that’s not the case and we really need to figure out a way to punch imposter syndrome’s head in. The title of this post is a little contradictory because I really don’t want to talk about how to keep going when you need a break, how to force yourself into burnout because you feel like you have to do to prove your worth, or maybe you do because you feel like you’re the only one who can. No, sometimes we need a mental health day or five. We need a break, a chance to decompress and remind ourselves of who we are without the constant striving.

Life is like a never-ending storm bringing in tidal waves that leave ripples and each and every thing that touches us changes us in some way, influences how we live and think. It is perfectly valid to need breaks. In fact, I believe that it is necessary. You need breaks in order to be at your best, to feel rejuvenated and think of new ideas. You need rest just as much as you feel you need to do, to accomplish and push…maybe even more so.

But because life is always pressing us against rocks and squeezing the life out of us, how can we move forward?

I have said it before, but I am not the “best” writer. I can make plans and schedules to write but that doesn’t mean I stick to them. Sometimes I give in to Shiny New Idea Syndrome and I get distracted from a current project. And sometimes I just don’t have the mental capacity to write. I am just being honest. Sure, it is good to be disciplined and structured, but at the end of the day, writing is a creative process…too much structure sucks the fun out of it. I was on a panel once and the topic of how we know if our story works or not came up. I was alone in saying that the story has to be one I enjoy. I don’t enjoy stories that I force out of myself like I am trying to make fresh olive oil. Instead of oil, I get blood, sweat, tears, exhaustion, and a hint of self-loathing…and that is not a fun creative process if I am honest. I don’t want to live like that and I am sure it is the same for most people.

If we are to enjoy are craft, truly enjoy the process of creation (even when things don’t go our way right there in the middle) we need breaks in order to refresh ourselves. I am at the point in life where I feel like I have nothing at all left to give or offer anyone. I am just tired and need a break. I have been getting migraines and dizzy spells, fainting…stress keeps on coming. And I can’t fix everything nor do I want to. I want to just go somewhere and turn my brain off for a while. I am positive I am not the only one who has ever felt like. Life keeps moving, no matter how tired I get…and society says to move with it or you’ll be left behind. But I am growing and learning that maybe it is okay to be left behind, to live in quiet and calm. It’s so rare nowadays, you can probably learn more and feel more in those instances than you can at other times in life.

So if you needed a sign or a push to take a break, this is it. So what if others are unreliable around you? Treat yourself better! Stop holding on to issues and problems or you might end up like me, stuck in an MRI machine more often than you want. Take a break. Read the book. Eat the yummy food. And when you feel like you have nothing left, withhold what you do have, because it is impossible to pour from an empty cup.

This post was just another rambling, but I do think that it’s something to think about, don’t you?